the duality of womanhood.

‘Do I actually want this?’ This is a question you may ask yourself while standing in the check out line, about to purchase the latest skincare product that is trending on TikTok.  It is such a simple yet profound question and if I am being real, I do not think we ask it enough.  There is something compelling about a pause. Viktor Frankl famously said “between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” The space being a cognitive interval where we can pause and reflect before we make a decision. Now this may seem like a dramatic thought process to go through before we purchase that eucalyptus scented body lotion but what if this is the formula we need to ensure the choices we make are aligned to who we truly are?  Think about it. We are currently being inundated with so much information, opinions and strategies that promise to change our lives for the better, or help us achieve what we believe is our desired result, from glass skin to life goals. These voices have become so loud in our daily lives that sometimes it can be difficult to separate our inner thoughts from external voices. This is where the valuable skill of discernment comes into play. Practising this on a daily basis gives us the opportunity to question old narratives. Shifting our perspective from who am I supposed to be? to what feels true to me now and what am I no longer willing to perform? I have noticed that women in their 30’s name this decade as the catalyst for the shift, one that I can personally confirm to be true. Once you turn 30, the pattern you created before your frontal lobe fully developed no longer applies. And it occurs in the most subtle way on a random Wednesday afternoon, during your lunch break. All of a sudden you are hit with the wait, why am I doing this? The pillars of our identity that were initially built for the outside world which allowed us to be seen and perceived ‘correctly’ are now being questioned - dismantled even, as we welcome what aligns with our true selves. We start to question things and if we sit with it long enough, we begin to see where some of these decisions were formed. We realise that not all of our choices came from a genuine desire, and that is okay.  This new perspective has created a shift from identity being something we maintain to something we actually embody and inhabit, it becomes a way of life. We start choosing differently, regardless of how it looks to others and we do not feel the need to explain either. We become more in tune with our intuition. Take wellness for example. We are moving away from the one size fits all routine and focusing on what actually feels good to us, with an emphasis on joy.  Because that is what it is all about. There’s something magical about being in your 30s. This is the decade that gives you permission to step into your truest self, or at least begin to. To gently let go of the versions of life you thought you were supposed to want and to start defining what you actually want it to feel like.  So I ask you again, gently this time, what feels true for you now? this conversation is part of a limited series I created called, your 30s redefined. If you have a topic you would like us to discuss, please drop it in the comment section below <3 Love, C. 

on scent, softness and slowing down.  Wearing perfume to bed may sound extra, but I think it is criminally underrated. Let’s talk about it.  So, you’ve had a long day – you have worked, fed your household, you have done your time. Your home and everyone in it is now satiated, except you. You have poured and poured from your cup and it is now well into the evening and you are tired. So you just have a quick shower and roll into bed.  Let me stop you right there. You deserve more. As women, being nurturing and offering so much is intrinsic to our nature but there’s two sides to everything. Think cause and effect, as you give out, you have to give in. This is where the art of self-care comes into play. You can start by simply asking yourself ‘what do I need in this moment?’ Answering this question is how you begin to identify what self-care looks like for you. Because in all honesty, there is no formula, no one size fits all. We each have our individual needs and we deserve to have a routine that provides rejuvenation. This is where the fun begins!  Now, this does not have to be excessive. You want a self-care regimen that restores not depletes. You can write down all the things you like to do, what you like to wear and even your preferred scent. For example, I love fresh scents with a touch of gourmand. And the best part of this is I wake up feeling delicious – literally – as a result of what I put on my skin the night before. It is a yummy concoction of lotions, oils and perfume, layered with love, which has become my signature scent, unique to me.  This is one of the ways you can integrate beauty and self-care into your everyday life. Taking 30 minutes out of your evening to physically focus on your body is a game changer. From deep breathing during a warm shower to massaging your shoulders with a post shower oil will reduce stress and ease tension from your muscles. There is a feel-good energy to this practice, knowing that you are taking care of your temple. I like to refer to the body as a temple because it is sacred and should be treated as such.  There are a lot of things we cannot control in life, but your personal wellness is something you have creative authority over. Self-care is infinite, there are many ways to infuse glimmers of joy into your evenings. Wear the buttery-soft set, read the romance novel, play the jazz record, light your favourite candle, journal, sketch, call your best friend or sit in silence. You deserve all the good things.  Love, C.  

You know what a real flex is? A well rested, regulated system.  I would like to think that we are slowly but surely dismissing the unhealthy aspects of hustle culture. While I understand the importance of effort, it should not be at the expense of our health.  Gone are the days where packed schedules and back-to-back tasks were deemed productive. The rate at which the body can work itself into an unhealthy state is alarming. But the good news is, as a collective, we are becoming more conscious of our triggers. This state of awareness allows us to catch the little things before it becomes a big, unwanted thing. Communally, we are making healthier food choices, moving our bodies more and embracing rest. There used to be a negative connotation to rest, at least during certain hours. It was often seen as lazy or unproductive. But there’s a rhythm to this. We can rest in a way that still allows us to get things done without running ourselves into the ground. We can create a rest routine that fits into our daily life, without feeling guilty.  Just as rhythm flows in different tempos, rest looks different for everyone.  A rest rhythm that works for a busy mum of 3 will look completely different to someone who works a corporate 9 - 5. Both versions are fine. There is no right or wrong answer, the key here is to treat rest like a daily necessity, not a luxury. It may sound simple, but this is where quality comes into the equation. The depth of your rest matters just as much, and it starts long before your head even meets the pillow. You can develop some relaxation techniques to help you ease into rest. Like a 10-minute mid-day pause to recharge for the rest of the day, or a 60 minute wind-down routine before bed to improve the quality of your sleep. Ideally, both. These relaxation techniques are beneficial for physical rest, but there are other forms of rest that are also significant, such as mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social and spiritual rest. From somatic release exercises to spending time in nature, these forms of rest reduce stress and boost cognitive function.  Rest is what holds it all together. It is how your body recovers and how your mind clears, allowing your nervous system to settle back into ease. When you prioritise rest, your body gets the chance to repair itself, your thoughts start making sense again and that sharp edge of stress begins to soften. You think better, you feel better and you move through life with a little more flow and a lot more clarity.  Rest is the antidote to an overstimulated world, so find your rhythm and sway into your rest. Love, C. 

So here’s the thing. These hormones? They need to get balanced, ASAP.  At some point, we all dreamed about this stage of life. ‘I can’t wait to be grown, I can’t wait to be an adult, I can’t wait to be free!”  It’s odd to think that this version of freedom feels a little different now. I must say, there are many beautiful aspects of womanhood. You gain clarity in your feminine energy and your intuition deepens, which ultimately makes you more confident in your decisions. But, like the duality of life itself, no one really talks about the changes. You know, those subtle, significant changes that often arrive in your mid-30s, from fluctuating hormones to a deeper re-evaluation of your life, which sometimes leads to a quiet, personal rebrand. This is where being grounded and grown becomes essential, it introduces a lifestyle rooted in intention, balance and trust. This realisation is an invitation. An opportunity to support yourself as you move through this phase of womanhood. And then, you start to feel the shift. You notice you have been listening to yourself more closely and becoming more aware of what you need. You begin to move with more intention and a deeper sense of trust.  Personally, I have been leaning into a softer rhythm lately. One that allows me to remain spiritually grounded and recognise what feels true to me, even when it requires change. I am regulating my nervous system, honouring my body, spending time in nature, protecting myself with healthy boundaries, trusting my intuition and embracing joy.  I say all this to say, being grounded and grown is a choice. A decision to move through life with intention, a heightened awareness of self and trust. A daily reminder to yourself that you have always been her and you choose to return to her, everyday.  Love, C.  

Comfortable? Good. Let’s talk about joy.  Not the loud, performative kind. Or the kind that arrives after a major milestone has been achieved.  I’m talking about quiet joy. The kind you experience on an ordinary Thursday evening when you’re curled up on the sofa with some popcorn, about to watch the latest episode of Bridgeton. Just the thought of that makes me wiggle with excitement. See what I mean?  Now I must say, conversations about locking in, dating, building businesses or landing your dream job are in heavy rotation. While all these deserve an applause, I’ve been wondering … where are the conversations about the Joyful Woman? The woman who enjoys her own company and honours her current season. She is not waiting for her life to begin nor is she postponing her happiness until she reaches her imagined ideal self. She understands that it is possible to gratefully participate in her current life while building her future. She moves through life with a sense of flow.  This is the art of duality. She is both becoming and already enough. I’ll be honest, learning to move in flow has not always come naturally to me. Like many women, I’ve had moments where my mind runs ahead of my life. Moments where I’ve wondered if I'm doing enough or moving fast enough towards the woman I am meant to become.  But lately, I have been practising flow.  Showing up each day, doing the best I can and allowing the rest to unfold. With this new perspective I have realised, joy often lives in those mundane moments. Like when we realise our favourite dessert is on the menu (happy dance) or when the sun comes out on our day off work, or when we find the book we have been looking for. These glimmers serve as a reminder that there is so much to enjoy in the present. This is not a fully developed skill yet, but I am embodying the Joyful Woman, right now. And so can you.  Love, C. 

Let me set the scene for you.  The week has been full.  Work, conversations and responsibilities. It's the kind that looks good on paper but secretly leaves you tired. Now the house is still. No interruptions or expectations. Just a rare, quiet moment and instead of filling it, you pause.  Pause.  Because lately, you have been wondering … why does taking care of yourself feel like something else you have to manage? You don’t want more steps, more products, more pressure. You just want it to feel simple again.  Surely, it can’t just be me. The practices that were originally intended to unclench our jaws and lower our shoulders seem to be, dare I say, counterproductive. So I ask, is the art of simplicity lost?  Wellness isn’t supposed to feel like another job. YES, I’ll say it again for the ladies in the back ; wellness isn’t supposed to feel like another job and if your routine is stressing you out, then I fear that might not be selfcare. Sometimes I think about our grandmothers’ generation. How they kept it simple but somehow they still looked put together, calm and cared for. Now I don’t mean to generalise, but the point is, that era seemed to choose what actually nourished them and released what did not. Now, I’m aware that some may view this as boring, but what if boring is better? The routines that actually make a difference are usually the least exciting ones. Imagine if you had the same yummy (healthy) breakfast, same bedtime rhythm, a capsule wardrobe and the same four skincare products. Not only would this build consistency, but imagine the financial benefits of this daily practice.  We are kicking over consumerism to the curb, honey.  The older I get the more I realise, I feel the most grounded when I simplify. I’m doing what works for me in this current season, repeating it and leaving the rest. Nothing fancy, just intentional.  You’re allowed to keep things simple, you know. And still be well, cared for and whole.  That’s wellness, uncomplicated. Love, C. 

During my morning walk I realised, the script has changed.  Let me explain.  I used to think I would have the plan solidified by now. The plan you ask? You know what I’m talking about. Those milestones that society has pressured us into thinking we should have met by now. The unrealistic timeline of securing the house, the relationship, the career and building the family. Instead, I am learning that life has a funny way of rearranging things, perhaps for the better.  Lately, the phrase “seasons change” has been sitting with me. Not in a dramatic, soundtrack-playing-in-the-background kind of way. More like a gentle reminder that just because the current reality does not mirror what the plan was, it does not mean all is lost.  When things do not unfold according to the plan, it can feel unsettling. However, life moves in seasons. Some are expansive and full of momentum, others are quiet and reflective. And some require us to release what we once thought was permanent. This does not mean we have failed, it means we are evolving.  I am learning that being “on track” is not about hitting milestones at a certain age, it is about growing into yourself, protecting your peace and staying true to you. The version of me who made those original plans did not know what I know and understand now, like the underrated power of a nap. Listen, those intervals give my overactive brain the break it deserves, okay! If your life looks different to what you once imagined, you are not behind, you are simply in a new season. Embracing this will give you the opportunity to build a more aligned and beautiful life, filled with ease.  So go forth and bloom. Love, C.  

Can I ask you something while I pour you a glass of wine?  When was the last time your space felt like it belonged to you?  not the kids. not the laundry. not the pet. You.  So let’s talk about where you land at the end of the day. Somewhere between work deadlines and snack requests, your living space may have turned into a place where you collapse into, instead of a place that restores you. We need to remedy that. Now, this doesn’t have to be a Pinterest makeover with all new furniture and decor items. The important thing is to focus on creating a space that says “honey relax, you’ve done enough for today”.  Let’s talk lighting for a second, because keeping that cool, overhead light on can make your space feel like an interrogation room.  So imagine this :  You’ve put the kids to bed, you’ve had your evening shower, you walk into your bedroom and instead of a bright cold light, there is a soft, warm glow. Your shoulders drop immediately. That’s nervous system care, that’s grown woman peace.  Your space doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs a few cosy goodies that whisper “you’re allowed to rest here”. A place that holds prayers, tears and online shopping sessions. And in all honesty, you deserve a space that envelops you in warmth when then world has pulled you in different directions all day. This is a cosy reminder that elevating your space is not just about decor, it’s also about identity. While you shoulder your responsibilities, it is important to remember that you deserve softness and a peaceful place to land at the end of the day. This peace does not have to be extravagant, it can simply start with a warm lamp and a cosy, layered bed.  wine refill?  Love, C

 while I was waiting for the kettle to boil …  I chose not to listen to music, or a podcast, or a ted talk. My ears were free and the house was quiet. At that moment, I was where my feet were ; present, grounded.  Of course there’s always something to do, but I chose not to speed through. Not to fit in other tasks while waiting for the kettle to boil, just to get the satisfaction of crossing them off my list later on.  I chose no urgency.   Questions for you. Do you notice yourself rushing, replying too fast or deciding too quickly? Do you notice what happens in your body when you feel the need to act immediately?  If so, you are not alone.  Urgency often disguises itself as productivity, but most of the time it is a learned response. A friend of mine once told me, mid conversation “that’s not your problem right now” and she was right. I instantly felt the shift from those simple words.  We rush because stillness can feel unsafe. We decide fast because sitting in the unknown can feel unbearable. Urgency feels tight, it says decide now or you will miss your chance.  On the other hand, intuition does not shout nor does it demand immediate action. It waits, until the body softens enough to hear it. Intuition feels spacious. I have noticed that when I act from urgency, I am responding to fear, but those sweet moments when I act from my intuition, I am responding to the truth and the truth is never in a rush.  *sips chamomile and honey tea for dramatic effect*  I am learning that intuition speaks softly. It becomes clearer when we allow ourselves to slow down, breathe and feel, instead of forcing. Practising intuition is less about finding answers quickly and more about trusting ourselves enough to pause. When you slow down to listen, your intuition will always meet you there. Steady, patient, quietly certain and ready to guide you.  Love, C.

come sit with me for a moment, I've been thinking…   For a long time, cosiness meant warmth, comfort and soft textures. While I still enjoy these things, I realise I have been searching for something deeper. Lately, it has been asking more of me and offering more in return. There is a natural, welcomed evolution happening and I find myself adding another layer to this beautiful aesthetic.   Depth. Becoming grounded, rooted not rushed. Intuitive not performative.   As life introduced unexpected curveballs, I realised I needed cosiness not just as a vibe, but as a way to feel safe within myself again. Hear me when I say this ; candles, plush blankets and a hot cup of herbal tea with Sade playing in the background will always be part of the conversation. However, the soft inclusion of nervous system safety, emotional honesty and letting go of urgency has become part of my existence. This powerful reframe has allowed me to redefine cosiness as regulation. Like saying no without guilt, resting without explanation and choosing environments that feel safe.   This season of CosyHomebody is about a deeper sense of cosiness, one that lives in the body, honours womanhood and moves at a pace that feels true. With me sharing from my life experiences in real time, I can only hope this space becomes a home for those who are learning to feel safe within themselves. Love, C. 

come sit with me for a moment, I've been thinking…   What if the reason you are craving a softer way to live is not because something is wrong with you, but because something has adjusted within you? What if this pull towards slowing down, towards rest, towards creating space for yourself is simply a sign that survival mode is no longer your default setting?   Slowing down isn't always a choice, sometimes it is a response.   Maybe this season of your life is not asking you to do more, it is asking you to notice more. Notice how often you move through your days on autopilot. Or notice the guilt that sometimes comes with rest. There may be some resistance to this, and as a mother I get it, trust me. The endless to-dos and the internal pressure to “just keep going”.   But perhaps you can shift your perspective. Your mind, body and soul are asking for something different. Not less purpose, just more ease. Not giving up, just softening. Somewhere along the way, slowing down started to feel indulgent instead of necessary. And yet, your heart keeps whispering that there must be another way to live, one that feels more gentle, more intentional.   So consider this letter a pause, a deep breath.   A reminder that you don't have to earn your rest or justify your softness. You are allowed to move at a pace that feels nourishing. You are allowed to create a life that holds space for responsibility and tenderness. This is where we begin, by giving ourselves permission to slow down.   So if all you do today is slow your breath, place your hand over your heart and choose rest without explanation or guilt, that is enough. You don't have to have it all figured out or transform yourself overnight. This is not about becoming someone new, it is about coming home to yourself.   that's all for now, let's just sit here with it for a moment… Love, C. 

According to the Global Wellness Day Organization, wellness can be defined as an active process of becoming fully aware and making choices towards a healthy and fulfilling life, using the appropriate tools to make a you happier human being. With all the buzz around this lifestyle, the home is somewhat deemed unpopular, compared to mental and physical wellness. Odd right? [even though research shows that a healthy and happy home is vital for our overall well-being, and our personal environment has the power to influence our mood] So perhaps we should promote wellness in the home a little more. Without putting pressure on trying to define this concept, we can simply describe home wellness as the act of intentionally creating a healthy, nurturing space that supports you. A spiritual headquarters if you will, and this can be done in various ways.Eliminate Clutter Did you know that visual clutter can affect our anxiety levels, ability to focus and can generate more of the stress hormone cortisol in the brain? No, thanks! To combat this, put on some happy music and give your space a good clear out. This can double as a gentle exercise which releases endorphins [the happy hormone] to the brain, yay! Create Calm Spaces I love the fact that you can create your own oasis in the comfort of your home, for you and your family to enjoy. Colours, lighting and scent can largely determine our state of mind, so it is beneficial to consider relaxing tones, soft textures, warmer lights and soothing aromas to infuse your space with harmony and balance. Sounds super zen right? Bring The Outdoors InIs there a rise in popularity for indoor gardening? Yes, but we cannot deny its benefits. Nature affects us in powerful yet positive ways, so bringing plants and greenery into your home can stimulate and energise you, as well as boost your productivity. Design A Suitable Work Space Speaking of productivity, having a dedicated work space can help draw a line between your work and personal life. With deadlines to meet and personal goals to achieve, mixing both can increase one's stress levels which goes against the concept of home wellness. So, clearly define your work space, if possible near a window for natural light and air. In addition to all this, creating a healthy home means being commited to a new, improved way of living and to care for the space that cares for you. Talk soon, COSY.

Why go out when you can stay in? (such a homebody perspective right?). Not only would you be saving hours of getting dressed, but you’ll also be saving money too - it’s a win, WIN! When life gets a bit too much, one way to release tension is to have a GOOD LAUGH with the girlies! You’ll get to spend quality time with them and nurture your friendship because we all know how important our sister circle is - and it’s even better when there’s a little wine involved, right?  So let’s get into it!  .     .    . The first task is to pick the most convenient day. Everyone is busy with work, kids and life in general, so it can be tricky to get everyone on the same page. Talk the the girls, throw out some suggestions and choose the most suitable day. Pick a theme! - This is a fun way for your friends to express their creativity. I once saw someone host a girls night in and she asked her friends to come dressed in their favourite colour WITH same colour snacks to match their outfits - now that would make a cute picture moment! Speaking of pictures, get a Polaroid camera! These have certainly made a comeback and they make any setting look aesthetically pleasing. Also, if you are planning to have a phone-free evening, this would be a good way to capture all the moments. Encourage your friends bring a dish to share - now it doesn’t have to be a full spread, just a little somethin’ to avoid you being stuck in the kitchen all evening. Plan good games and activities - who doesn’t love fun competition? From painting to charades, it’s a fun way to get everyone engaged and laughing. You could even take it up a notch and have prizes for the winners! Lastly, MUSIC! Create a playlist that caters to your sister circle to give everyone an opportunity to vibe, shake off the day and MOVE!  .     .    . You’ll find that there might be a request for another ladies night in - so maybe start a group chat and ask your friends to bring ideas for the next one! Talk soon, COSY.

I know what you’re thinking, I don’t have TIME for that! I see you, I hear you, I FEEL you. Self-care overall is very essential and should be part of everyone’s weekly routine, but for mums, I believe self-care should be part of our DAILY routine. .     .    . Being a parent is probably one of if not THE most intense role there is. As a mother myself, I feel obliged to say ; if you have not scheduled in time for yourself, here is your firm, yet friendly reminder to do so. For a role that feels like one is moving at 100mph, making a conscious effort to slow down and somewhat temporarily ignore the every growing list of to-dos can be daunting - but mama, it’s necessary! .     .    . The beauty about this decision is, it’s entirely up to you! The only rule is that you must do what refuels you. SIMPLE. What is that thing that makes a busy day worth it? For me, it’s a warm shower, cosy pjs, a scented candle and a good book or evening jazz playing in the background. Now this might seem like a lot to some, but I’ve simplified this combination in a way that allows me to show up as my best self the following day. .     .    . We all know the famous quote “you can’t pour from an empty cup” - this has to be one of my favourite sayings. Not everyday works out exactly how we’ve planned it, but mama, giving yourself the gift or self-care whenever you’re able to, for as long as you can, will be extremely beneficial to your daily life, your children and your loved ones. Here are some tips I want you to try at your chosen time. Pick what you need and do it with the intention to relax; + 10 minutes of meditation + journaling your thoughts on paper + give yourself a facial + watch your favourite TV show (and laugh out, LOUD) + listen to a calm playlist or podcast. Talk soon,  COSY.

Welcome back to the journal, let’s get straight into it! Okay so the term “slow living” will definitely raise some brows which is why it is important to shed some light on it. Harriet Clifford defined this beautifully - and I quote, “the slow lifestyle advocates adopting a slower pace of life, consciously making an effort to be more present in the moment, and therefore living in a more balanced, meaningful and life-affirming way.” .     .    . I believe this practice started in the 80s but a lot of people have recently adopted aspects of this lifestyle after the pandemic. We live in an ever-evolving, fast paced world - which isn’t completely a bad thing because it shows progress, but it can have some unhealthy effects on our wellness such as stress and anxiety. .     .    . Shaking off the misconceptions about slow living being for sluggish, unproductive people, this lifestyle is more of a mindset shift that allows one to experience life to the fullest. Practices like living mindfully in self-awareness, dedicating the right amount of time to things that matter to us and embracing our journey regardless of societal pressures or timelines will afford us a more delightful life. .     .    . As a famous author once wrote “This isn’t a race with a start and finish line. This is slow, imperfect, intentional and evolving.” If you practise slow living or want a deeper insight to this lifestyle, I would love to hear your thoughts below. Talk soon, COSY.

Hi my darling, welcome to the Cosy Homebody platform! Ahh I’m so excited to be writing this now - we are finally live, baby! Before we dive in, let’s get cosy, of course. Light your favourite candle, grab a cup of tea [or a glass of wine *wink wink*] and get comfortable. Creating this platform has been a dream of mine for a long time - we’ll get into that later - but for the first journal entry, I want to share a little about me and what you can expect to see here! .     .    .    My name is Cynthia and a fun fact; my initials spell out the word C.O.S.Y (mum definitely knew what she was doing lol) I’ve always enjoyed the cosy way of life but after I became a mother, I realised how much I craved serenity and the importance of enjoying the little things in life. I am on a journey to living a soft and intentional lifestyle, while seeking ways to elevate myself and my space, which is exactly what I wish to share with you.  .     .    . This platform will feature all things cosy for the home + body, including weekly conversations on intentional living and how to elevate everyday life. My goal for CH is for you to find inspiration, useful tips, quality homebody essentials [coming really soon] and to connect with the other members of this wonderful, ever blooming tribe. So sign up to receive all the goods! ;) .     .    . So with that being said, I would love to know more about you. Share something about yourself in the comment section below and what you hope to see here. I can’t wait to connect with you all! Talk soon, COSY.