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complex simplicity, some might say.  I was sipping my vanilla chai tea while browsing on Pinterest and I saw a quote that said “I am the softest and most ruthless I have ever been”. I have never seen truer words that accurately depict the feeling of being in your 30s. I would like to assume this will ring true to our experiences as we get older, but I can only speak from the present. Lately, we have been discussing shifts that occur in our 30’s. You may recognise this era as the decade for redefining, rediscovering and restoring. Between setting boundaries to protect ourselves and preserving our femininity, we have inadvertently entered the dance of duality. Duality in womanhood alludes to desire of balance.  Balance.  In recent times, this word has been pegged as unrealistic. So I would like to offer a softer option, perhaps harmony. Harmony introduces the idea of balance without perfection. We can be ambitious and nurturing. We are allowed to be independent but also desire healthy partnership. We can show our strength and also our vulnerability. We are human after all and like Beyonce famously said “strong enough to bear the children, then get back to business”  Speaking of strength, just like duality, there is another side to this. Let’s take a second to address the strong woman complex. Part of redefining your 30s is reframing societal thought patterns and one way to do this is to release the pressure to be ‘strong’. Allowing wellness to be at the forefront of your decisions is key to avoiding stress and emotional strain. A soft strength if you will. This perspective honours the duality of womanhood in a way that preserves and protects.  Here’s the thing no one really says out loud. You can be proud of yourself and still want more. There are some days when you reminisce and think wow, I’ve come so far and other days when you tap your foot wondering okay, what’s next? It is okay for both to exist at the same time, baby. Contentment is the part of you that knows when to sit back, sip your drink and acknowledge your accomplishments. Yet, growth has you dreaming, reaching and pushing past your comfort zone. That tug you may feel is the dance of duality and the intention is to find harmony between both.  The beauty of duality is that two things can exist at once. You can reach for more while loving who you are. None of it cancels the other out, if anything it strengthens it. I am the softest and most ruthless I have ever been, and I like it.  This time, I’m not questioning it.  Love, C. 

‘Do I actually want this?’ This is a question you may ask yourself while standing in the check out line, about to purchase the latest skincare product that is trending on TikTok.  It is such a simple yet profound question and if I am being real, I do not think we ask it enough.  There is something compelling about a pause. Viktor Frankl famously said “between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” The space being a cognitive interval where we can pause and reflect before we make a decision. Now this may seem like a dramatic thought process to go through before we purchase that eucalyptus scented body lotion but what if this is the formula we need to ensure the choices we make are aligned to who we truly are?  Think about it. We are currently being inundated with so much information, opinions and strategies that promise to change our lives for the better, or help us achieve what we believe is our desired result, from glass skin to life goals. These voices have become so loud in our daily lives that sometimes it can be difficult to separate our inner thoughts from external voices. This is where the valuable skill of discernment comes into play. Practising this on a daily basis gives us the opportunity to question old narratives. Shifting our perspective from who am I supposed to be? to what feels true to me now and what am I no longer willing to perform? I have noticed that women in their 30’s name this decade as the catalyst for the shift, one that I can personally confirm to be true. Once you turn 30, the pattern you created before your frontal lobe fully developed no longer applies. And it occurs in the most subtle way on a random Wednesday afternoon, during your lunch break. All of a sudden you are hit with the wait, why am I doing this? The pillars of our identity that were initially built for the outside world which allowed us to be seen and perceived ‘correctly’ are now being questioned - dismantled even, as we welcome what aligns with our true selves. We start to question things and if we sit with it long enough, we begin to see where some of these decisions were formed. We realise that not all of our choices came from a genuine desire, and that is okay.  This new perspective has created a shift from identity being something we maintain to something we actually embody and inhabit, it becomes a way of life. We start choosing differently, regardless of how it looks to others and we do not feel the need to explain either. We become more in tune with our intuition. Take wellness for example. We are moving away from the one size fits all routine and focusing on what actually feels good to us, with an emphasis on joy.  Because that is what it is all about. There’s something magical about being in your 30s. This is the decade that gives you permission to step into your truest self, or at least begin to. To gently let go of the versions of life you thought you were supposed to want and to start defining what you actually want it to feel like.  So I ask you again, gently this time, what feels true for you now? this conversation is part of a limited series I created called, your 30s redefined. If you have a topic you would like us to discuss, please drop it in the comment section below <3 Love, C. 

on scent, softness and slowing down.  Wearing perfume to bed may sound extra, but I think it is criminally underrated. Let’s talk about it.  So, you’ve had a long day – you have worked, fed your household, you have done your time. Your home and everyone in it is now satiated, except you. You have poured and poured from your cup and it is now well into the evening and you are tired. So you just have a quick shower and roll into bed.  Let me stop you right there. You deserve more. As women, being nurturing and offering so much is intrinsic to our nature but there’s two sides to everything. Think cause and effect, as you give out, you have to give in. This is where the art of self-care comes into play. You can start by simply asking yourself ‘what do I need in this moment?’ Answering this question is how you begin to identify what self-care looks like for you. Because in all honesty, there is no formula, no one size fits all. We each have our individual needs and we deserve to have a routine that provides rejuvenation. This is where the fun begins!  Now, this does not have to be excessive. You want a self-care regimen that restores not depletes. You can write down all the things you like to do, what you like to wear and even your preferred scent. For example, I love fresh scents with a touch of gourmand. And the best part of this is I wake up feeling delicious – literally – as a result of what I put on my skin the night before. It is a yummy concoction of lotions, oils and perfume, layered with love, which has become my signature scent, unique to me.  This is one of the ways you can integrate beauty and self-care into your everyday life. Taking 30 minutes out of your evening to physically focus on your body is a game changer. From deep breathing during a warm shower to massaging your shoulders with a post shower oil will reduce stress and ease tension from your muscles. There is a feel-good energy to this practice, knowing that you are taking care of your temple. I like to refer to the body as a temple because it is sacred and should be treated as such.  There are a lot of things we cannot control in life, but your personal wellness is something you have creative authority over. Self-care is infinite, there are many ways to infuse glimmers of joy into your evenings. Wear the buttery-soft set, read the romance novel, play the jazz record, light your favourite candle, journal, sketch, call your best friend or sit in silence. You deserve all the good things.  Love, C.  

You know what a real flex is? A well rested, regulated system.  I would like to think that we are slowly but surely dismissing the unhealthy aspects of hustle culture. While I understand the importance of effort, it should not be at the expense of our health.  Gone are the days where packed schedules and back-to-back tasks were deemed productive. The rate at which the body can work itself into an unhealthy state is alarming. But the good news is, as a collective, we are becoming more conscious of our triggers. This state of awareness allows us to catch the little things before it becomes a big, unwanted thing. Communally, we are making healthier food choices, moving our bodies more and embracing rest. There used to be a negative connotation to rest, at least during certain hours. It was often seen as lazy or unproductive. But there’s a rhythm to this. We can rest in a way that still allows us to get things done without running ourselves into the ground. We can create a rest routine that fits into our daily life, without feeling guilty.  Just as rhythm flows in different tempos, rest looks different for everyone.  A rest rhythm that works for a busy mum of 3 will look completely different to someone who works a corporate 9 - 5. Both versions are fine. There is no right or wrong answer, the key here is to treat rest like a daily necessity, not a luxury. It may sound simple, but this is where quality comes into the equation. The depth of your rest matters just as much, and it starts long before your head even meets the pillow. You can develop some relaxation techniques to help you ease into rest. Like a 10-minute mid-day pause to recharge for the rest of the day, or a 60 minute wind-down routine before bed to improve the quality of your sleep. Ideally, both. These relaxation techniques are beneficial for physical rest, but there are other forms of rest that are also significant, such as mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social and spiritual rest. From somatic release exercises to spending time in nature, these forms of rest reduce stress and boost cognitive function.  Rest is what holds it all together. It is how your body recovers and how your mind clears, allowing your nervous system to settle back into ease. When you prioritise rest, your body gets the chance to repair itself, your thoughts start making sense again and that sharp edge of stress begins to soften. You think better, you feel better and you move through life with a little more flow and a lot more clarity.  Rest is the antidote to an overstimulated world, so find your rhythm and sway into your rest. Love, C. 

So here’s the thing. These hormones? They need to get balanced, ASAP.  At some point, we all dreamed about this stage of life. ‘I can’t wait to be grown, I can’t wait to be an adult, I can’t wait to be free!”  It’s odd to think that this version of freedom feels a little different now. I must say, there are many beautiful aspects of womanhood. You gain clarity in your feminine energy and your intuition deepens, which ultimately makes you more confident in your decisions. But, like the duality of life itself, no one really talks about the changes. You know, those subtle, significant changes that often arrive in your mid-30s, from fluctuating hormones to a deeper re-evaluation of your life, which sometimes leads to a quiet, personal rebrand. This is where being grounded and grown becomes essential, it introduces a lifestyle rooted in intention, balance and trust. This realisation is an invitation. An opportunity to support yourself as you move through this phase of womanhood. And then, you start to feel the shift. You notice you have been listening to yourself more closely and becoming more aware of what you need. You begin to move with more intention and a deeper sense of trust.  Personally, I have been leaning into a softer rhythm lately. One that allows me to remain spiritually grounded and recognise what feels true to me, even when it requires change. I am regulating my nervous system, honouring my body, spending time in nature, protecting myself with healthy boundaries, trusting my intuition and embracing joy.  I say all this to say, being grounded and grown is a choice. A decision to move through life with intention, a heightened awareness of self and trust. A daily reminder to yourself that you have always been her and you choose to return to her, everyday.  Love, C.  

Comfortable? Good. Let’s talk about joy.  Not the loud, performative kind. Or the kind that arrives after a major milestone has been achieved.  I’m talking about quiet joy. The kind you experience on an ordinary Thursday evening when you’re curled up on the sofa with some popcorn, about to watch the latest episode of Bridgeton. Just the thought of that makes me wiggle with excitement. See what I mean?  Now I must say, conversations about locking in, dating, building businesses or landing your dream job are in heavy rotation. While all these deserve an applause, I’ve been wondering … where are the conversations about the Joyful Woman? The woman who enjoys her own company and honours her current season. She is not waiting for her life to begin nor is she postponing her happiness until she reaches her imagined ideal self. She understands that it is possible to gratefully participate in her current life while building her future. She moves through life with a sense of flow.  This is the art of duality. She is both becoming and already enough. I’ll be honest, learning to move in flow has not always come naturally to me. Like many women, I’ve had moments where my mind runs ahead of my life. Moments where I’ve wondered if I'm doing enough or moving fast enough towards the woman I am meant to become.  But lately, I have been practising flow.  Showing up each day, doing the best I can and allowing the rest to unfold. With this new perspective I have realised, joy often lives in those mundane moments. Like when we realise our favourite dessert is on the menu (happy dance) or when the sun comes out on our day off work, or when we find the book we have been looking for. These glimmers serve as a reminder that there is so much to enjoy in the present. This is not a fully developed skill yet, but I am embodying the Joyful Woman, right now. And so can you.  Love, C.